As you've long thought, the menace of lawn gnomes has been spreading. What was only a problem for north American suburbia has now spread to the shores of Rio de Janeiro. Copacabana and Ipanema aren't safe. Most likely, your flats, apartments and hotels are about to be overrun, if they haven't already. The lawn gnomes are here on holiday with a few days to kill, literally. Here are a handful of tips on surviving the assault before they are crawling all over the real estate that you just happen to be occupying.
Before everything, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying in. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to remember the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle concealed. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their assault. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good if you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you may be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you will have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some safeguard.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the approaching doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to reaches for a flashlight and the other should already have a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also think about rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever estimated for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one predicted that the garden gnomes would be travelling south. So it looks like you will have to cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be creeping with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal garden gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
Before everything, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying in. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to remember the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle concealed. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their assault. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good if you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you may be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you will have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some safeguard.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the approaching doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to reaches for a flashlight and the other should already have a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also think about rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever estimated for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one predicted that the garden gnomes would be travelling south. So it looks like you will have to cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be creeping with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal garden gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
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Rio de Janeiro Properties has many of the best apartments rentals intended for your rio de janeiro holiday holiday retreat. Click right now to discover an amazing apartment in rio de Janeiro as well as desired areas such as Leblon, Ipanema and Copacabana.
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